Have you ever heard the phrase, “intentional living” and wondered what it meant? It’s certainly not a new concept, but it has become quite a buzzword in the last few years. Stick around and not only find what it means, but I’m going to give you five action steps to take so that you can begin living intentionally yourself.
Intentional living is simply defined as, “Making a conscious attempt to live according to your values and beliefs.” It is determining what is important to YOU so that you can live in a space of integrity and well-being regarding those things. It is about knowing WHY you are doing something and then aligning your behavior and habits with what you really want out of life.
It sets the tone and the trajectory for your life, allowing small actions to compile, making the life you’ve envisioned for yourself. When you think about it, greatness doesn’t always have everything to do with talent. It’s the consistency with which that person acts. Small consistent actions over a period of time produce change. That is the formula. Period.
Whether that change is good or bad, keep doing a thing over and over and it’s going to produce an effect. So, you had better figure out what result you want to see! Figuring out what food you want to come out of the oven is going to determine what ingredients you need to put in.
STEP ONE: Do some self-reflection.
Decide what the values and beliefs that you want to ascribe to your life? You need to set goals and decide what the “WHY” behind that behavior is.
Here is a simple example…if you know that you don’t feel peaceful and you don’t sleep well at night if your kitchen is a mess, then that will be one of the areas you should probably address. Perhaps you should decide that your kitchen will be tidied every evening by 7pm so that you can relax knowing that it is done and off your plate. Then you also won’t spend your entire evening having it hang over your head because you’re procrastinating about doing it. You intentionally choose to address it and make it happen in a way that brings you the most peace.
Clean dishes are awesome, of course, but the why behind doing this every night by 7pm (or whatever time you choose) is because it brings you peace and allows you to be more fully present in the rest of your life without worrying about t. See where I’m going with this?
For me, I know that if I don’t meditate first thing in the morning, I will feel off all day. I won’t be as centered, balanced, and grounded as I normally would. So, I have intentionally made it part of my morning routine and now I meditate before I do anything else. It is one of my non-negotiables in life. And speaking of non-negotiables, what are yours? I plan to make a video about this soon and I’m curious what your thoughts are on this topic. Leave a comment down below about what things in your life aren’t negotiable for you? What are the things that are must haves?
Okay, I know that the example of the dishes being done was incredibly simplified when it comes to deciding what the core values and beliefs for your life are. It’s important to spend some time thinking about this though. If you don’t know where you’re going, it will be hard to get where you need to be.
These concepts can be broad like…peace, having close relationships and connections, being known for producing quality work, being environmentally conscious, or just being a “good person.” Or they can be more specific things like, someone who always has a clean house, someone who is on top of a specific religious or spiritual practice, a specific charity, or that your yard has the prettiest daffodils every spring.
The thing is that you are the only one that can decide this. You are the author of your life and you will get out of it precisely what you have decided you want out of it. Personally, I like to start with the broader concepts first because I think they naturally lead you down the path to the more specific examples.
For instance, it is important to me to cultivate a calm, peaceful life and to keep my energy and vibrations high. To meet this goal, I intentionally decorated my home in soothing, neutral colors with lots of natural earthy elements like wood. I distanced myself from certain toxic people that were in my life, I meditate daily, and I am careful about what activities I participate in, what movies I watch, and what music I listen to. All these things done consistently add up to a life that is peaceful.
STEP TWO: Realize that this is all your choice.
Have a serious talk with yourself and make sure you understand that you are the author of your life. You are creating this, and no one decides what it looks like but you.
Make sure you are in the correct frame of mind and shift your perspective if you need to so that you are approaching this with the right attitude. You can take joy and pride in knowing that these are the things that are important to you, and you are living in way that honors that.
I say this because as humans, because many times I’ve seen people fall into the bad habit of feeling like a martyr or a victim to the decisions and behaviors in our lives. When if we simply shift our perspective, we see that it’s always our choice and it is a blessing to be able to make little decisions that make our lives better.
STEP THREE: After identifying what your core values are, begin to list behaviors, habits and activities that will contribute to living in a way that honors that. Conversely, you can also list behaviors that you may be prone to that will detract from your goal.
For me, I’m prone to be a night owl and it is SO easy for me to stay up until the wee hours of the morning. But I know that if I don’t get enough sleep then I don’t feel good and the quality of just about everything in my life is thrown off. So, staying up too late and ignoring my sleep schedule would be on my list of detractors.
Another example is saying that travel is important to you, but your finances show that you chronically squander your money on impulse shopping or eating out. Can you see how this is out of alignment with what you say is a core value for your life? Plan to limit your impulse spending and to increase your savings so that you can travel more. This is what I’ve had to do and even though it’s not easy, the rewards will be worth it.
STEP FOUR: Look at your current lifestyle…
does your behavior and your habits match with your list of positive/contributing behaviors? If not, where do you need to make the changes? What do you need to add in? What do you need to take away?
STEP FIVE: Now go do it!
Remember that consistent deliberate action in your life is going to produce results. Soon you’ll begin to feel an alignment with your true self. Your outsides will begin to match your insides, as I like to say.
And be gentle with yourself as you’re getting used to new habits and patterns. I recommend starting a morning routine and being intentional with the first hour or two of your day. When you start with a place of peace first thing in the morning and you take your time, it sets a balanced, peaceful tone for the day.
At least it does for me. Perhaps you are a person that needs to get amped up and energized first thing in the morning. Maybe you need to go for a run, drink some coffee and have dance music playing. If so, do that!
The author Annie Dillard said:
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
When you look back on your life, what do you want it to look like? Now go make it happen…you’ve got this.
xoxo,
Veronica
Love this post and it’s a great reminder to stop and really dive in and think about what I want before allowing the day to take me at 100 mph! I want to read more, have meditation time and tap into my spirituality.It’s always the same excuse, I’m busy! As true as it is, I need to slow down and make time for ME. One of my non negotiables is to try to eat together at the dining room table as a family at least 2-3 times a week. Family is my priority and spending time with them is always a must, even if it’s for 30-45 mins having dinner. We talk, catch up, plan things or just be together. Is eating together as a family not done anymore? We turn off our phones and are not allowed to text or answer calls or scroll through social media. It’s our time <3 My mornings is where I really need to take advantage of squeezing in the time to meditate and perhaps read a little. I must do better and be more intentional for sure! Love all of your tips, great post!
Great Post! One of my non negotiables….singing songs, saying prayers and sharing “I love yous” with my little boy each night before bed. Another one of my non negotiables…taking a moment to breathe and think and pray before I respond to someone who is being unkind or unloving to me. This helps to avoid me saying or doing something that I will regret later.
As I get older my need to be Intentional has increased immensely. It’s hard finding that balance and making it all happen though so sometimes it comes down to letting go of one thing I enjoy to make room for something else that is better for me. For instance I enjoy staying up late and having that time alone BUT it’s healthier for me to get a good amount of sleep. So I had to give up my alone time at night so that I could make room for something healthier. Good tips and all very important.