2024. The last year went by in a blur for me. It’s hard to believe January is here already. Normally January brings with it a fresh energy of new beginnings, decluttering, and ambition. A desire to go, to create, to do.
This January is different though. Mostly because I’m newly recovering from surgery and cannot physically do any of those things. But honestly I think the universe has used this opportunity to bring forth something that has been brewing in me for quite some time now…quiet, slow living. To be still.
As I write this, I am sitting in silence where I have been most of the morning. Slowly sipping my coffee and reflecting in silence. I think as humans, but particularly as Americans we are instilled with a sense of go-go-go. Hurry, achieve, pack as much into a day as possible. All that comes of that is to look back at your life and wonder where the time went. I want to go at a pace more natural to me. Slow, languid movements. Savoring the moment. Really noticing the colors and textures around me.
One of the things I love most about my friend Allison is that she knows how to dine. When I’m with her we don’t go out to eat, we dine. We can sit there for hours enjoying the food, drink, and company. We let the conversation lead us. We spend time together.
One of the things I always disliked most about Fred was that he was just the opposite. He is a man of few words. I talk, he listens occasionally laughing at something I had to say or grunting in disapproval. All while cleaning his plate and finishing his drink. The moment the food is done, he looks at me and says, “Ready to go?” and we leave. Very perfunctory. A task checked off the list. EAT. Box ticked.
I want to begin moving more slowly than that. It sounds silly, but the other day I walked out to the mailbox without my phone and it felt revolutionary. Dumb, I know. But it felt so free to give myself permission to unplug and enjoy the two minutes out of the house without being accountable to anyone else. I want more of that. I want to move in a space and at a pace that feels organic to my soul. I want to follow the bliss with a day full of “want to” vs “have to.”
Perhaps this surgery brought me more of a gift than just physical healing.
Love this! Will read it multiple times through this month. I hope your recovery is going well.